Have you ever wondered why you always seem to mess things up right when you’re about to achieve something great? It’s a phenomenon called self-sabotage, and it’s more common than you might think. Here are some examples of self-sabotage, and how to recognize when it’s happening.
Example 1: The Job Interview
You’ve finally landed an interview for your dream job, and you’re feeling confident. You’ve researched the company, practiced your answers to potential questions, and even picked out the perfect outfit. But then, as you’re walking into the interview, you trip over your own feet and spill coffee all over your shirt. You try to play it off, but you know deep down that you’ve blown it. This is a classic example of self-sabotage.
How to recognize it: If you find yourself making careless mistakes or behaving in ways that are out of character right before an important event, it’s likely that you’re self-sabotaging. Try to take a step back and identify any negative thoughts or beliefs that might be causing you to behave this way.
Example 2: The Diet
You’ve been eating healthily and exercising regularly for weeks, and you’re starting to see some real progress. You’re feeling proud of yourself and excited about the changes you’re making. But then, one day, you find yourself binge-eating an entire tub of ice cream. You feel guilty and ashamed, and all your progress seems to have gone out the window.
How to recognize it: If you find yourself engaging in self-destructive behaviours, such as binge-eating, drinking too much alcohol, or procrastinating on important tasks, it’s likely that you’re self-sabotaging. Try to identify any underlying emotions or beliefs that might be driving these thoughts, and seek support if needed.
Example 3: The Relationship
You’ve finally met someone who ticks all your boxes. They’re smart, funny, and kind, and you can’t believe your luck. But then, as the relationship starts to get more serious, you find yourself picking fights over nothing, or pulling away emotionally. You know that this person is too good for you, and you’re scared of getting hurt.
How to recognize it: If you find yourself pushing away people who care about you, or behaving in ways that are likely to damage your relationships, it’s likely that you’re self-sabotaging. Try to identify any fears or insecurities that might be driving your actions, and work on building your self-esteem and confidence.
So why do we self-sabotage? There are many possible reasons, but one common explanation is our fear of success. We might worry that we’re not good enough to handle it, or that we’ll be judged by others if we achieve our goals. Whatever the reason, it’s important to recognize when we’re self-sabotaging and to take steps to overcome it.
One way to do this is to practice self-compassion, and meditation. Treat yourself as you would a good friend, and be gentle and supportive when you’re struggling. Another approach is to focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and to remind yourself or journal on all the times you’ve succeeded in the past.